Opening Story: The Dinner That Changed Everything
A few years ago, I was invited to a dinner meeting with a well-known CEO. I came prepared, armed with numbers, case studies, and industry buzzwords. I thought I had to impress.
Halfway through the evening, he asked, “Tell me about a time you didn’t get it right and what you learned about people through it.”
I dropped the script. I shared a real story, one of failure, trust, and learning to rebuild related recent HR tech implementation. His response?
“That’s leadership. I can work with that.”
It wasn’t the metrics that built trust. It was the moment I chose connection over curation.
What Are We Really Trying to Achieve When We Speak?
We’ve all been there:
- Speaking in meetings, trying to sound insightful
- Networking with rehearsed intros
- Leading teams through perfectly worded updates
But the goal of a conversation is not to impress — it’s to connect.
Because connection is what builds trust. And trust is what drives transformation.
“Connection is the energy that is created between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued.”
— Brené BrownThe Cost of Performative Conversations
When we prioritize sounding smart over being real:
- We reduce dialogue to monologue
- We trade vulnerability for perfectionism
- We lead with image, not insight
We might win attention — but we lose authenticity.
And in leadership, authenticity is currency.
My Leadership Learning
After 20+ years in HR leadership and coaching senior executives across industries, here’s what I know:
- Leaders who impress may be remembered.
- Leaders who connect are followed.
- Culture is built not by charismatic monologues, but by everyday, courageous conversations.
True leadership doesn’t perform.
It listens. It engages. It stays present when it’s easier to sound perfect.
Quick Coaching Prompts
Ask yourself:
- In your last meeting, did you speak to impress, or to understand?
- Are you inviting your team to share truth or just updates?
- What’s one story you’ve never shared because it felt too real?
Call to Action
Before your next meeting, networking event, or 1:1…
Pause.
Ask:
“Do I want to be remembered for what I said or how I made them feel?”
Let’s build leadership cultures where real conversations are the real differentiator.
What’s one moment where you felt truly connected in a conversation, not because of what was said, but because of how it was shared?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s rehumanize the way we lead one conversation at a time.
#Leadership #CHRO #Authenticity #HumanConnection #ExecutiveCoaching #HRLeadership #FutureOfWork #EmotionalIntelligence #ConversationsThatMatter
